Let me explain a little about what I mean. My time working at the hotel has truly come to an end. I pulled the plug for a few reasons, not the least being that I felt my soul was being sucked through my eyeballs because I did not see the purpose of the work that I was doing. I was not doing the things that I feel called to do and although my physical and financial needs were being met, my spiritual and emotional ones were not... not in the least.
Thus the dissonance:
Do I continue to work my time in exchange for money and security for my family, but not have much space for creativity and growth of my own ideas
OR
Do I take a smaller paid position with much greater "free" time and flexibility so I can pursue other endeavors and engage my creative side, but with greater financial risk?
Everything in me tells me to go with the first option. My side of the family has always done the responsible thing, worked good solid jobs, saved up a lot of money, and had a comfortable life. This doesn't sound too bad definitely, but I feel that my nomadic spirit doesn't fit in with it very well.
I joke that I should have been a farmer because that vocation would fit me well...
Well, that might just happen.
I have chosen the latter option. I have gotten a great job working with a community of people in Grand Marais that will be enough to pay our bills and give us a decent amount of saving every year. It pays twice per hour what I am earning at the hotel, but overall pays less. Our expenses are going to be lower because we are going to be living on the homestead of a wonderful couple who live outside of Grand Marais and have a CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) garden, chickens, make maple syrup, produce most of their own electricity, and are working on making their own bio-diesel... amongst many other projects.
This was and is my Grand Experiment. I tried to work in the commercial sector and quickly realized why I have worked for non-profits my entire life. If you are going to be in the commercial sector the best person to work for is yourself I believe. In addition, the pace and atmosphere of some of the businesses up here is very unhealthy and overly stressful. I don't believe that this is necessary for a successful business, but I am not the one to criticize other people's business practices.
The latter part of the experiment is still to come. Building my own shelter. Living purposefully without some of the "luxuries" that we have become so accustomed to, but living in the lap of some of the most forgotten "luxuries." I trade limitless electricity for solitude and the flicker of candle-light. I trade full flush toilet facilities for the sight of fresh deer tracks in the snow and trees all around.
I am willing to make these trades.
If any of you are wondering, Rose was the one who re-introduced this route to me. We had been considering doing this immediately when we returned from India, but felt that it was a better idea to work for the hotel. I don't disagree that it was a better idea to start at the hotel, but I feel that we are finally finding our way to some of our goals and that is a beautiful thing.
You are all invited to come up and stay in the yurt in the sugarbush. Just don't plan any visits until February because I still need to build the yurt...
See you soon!
